Birthday Party

Today's post was delayed due to our unreliable internet connection. Thanks for following our blog!
One piece of news that had to remain confidential until court was the fact that Maria celebrated her birthday on February 5th. Back in Kiev when we looked at the files I had seen that one of them was going to have a birthday soon. Once we started visiting the girls, we clarified that it was Maria. As her birthday drew near, she made sure that we knew when her birthday was. The day before her birthday we drew her aside to chat. I said, "You will be eleven tomorrow?" She vehemently denied this and told us she would be twelve. Stan and I both sucked in our breath. We only had clearance through the USCIS to adopt kids up to age eleven. I started thinking it through - we had seen all her documents including birth certificate and medical report of birth. We asked again, "Are you sure you won't be eleven?" Nope, she was sure she would be twelve. Later, we asked our facilitator about this and he laughed. He explained that it was cultural for her to consider herself twelve when she started her twelfth year of life. Just how do you talk any kid into repeating a year?

We had fun planning her party. Our first trip to Uzhgorod, the bigger city nearby, was to buy a cake and present for her. We picked out a small MP3 player for her, found a cake with pink flowers on top, and bought some chocolates for her to pass out to her friends. We were able to secure the library for the afternoon and our facilitator diverted the girls long enough for us to arrange a table with the cake with (twelve!) candles, plates, napkins, gift, and chocolates. We were all ready when they filed back into the room to video their response. We expected them to run over to the table, exclaim delight and surprise, then start shaking the present or poking their fingers into the cake. It was Mom & Dad who got the surprise when, as soon as they caught a glimpse of the table, they wordlessly ran to the opposite side of the room where I was standing and clung to me as they buried their faces in my sweater.

They weren't unhappy. I could see glimpses of sparking eyes and happy smiles. They were just overwhelmed. Even a simple one-present birthday party with a very basic cake was just more than they could process on the spot.

It still takes my breath away when I think about it. Could this have been her first birthday cake? We know Ukrainians can go all out for a kid's birthday party. We've seen large groups in restaurants with scads of kids and multiple cakes. These girls, however, have lived a tough life so far and it's likely that their birthdays may have passed without much of a celebration.

After a couple of minutes we managed to get the girls around the table and light the candles. Julia immediately blew out about half of them (she knew that much about a birthday cake!). After relighting them Maria blew her candles out and we sang to her (in that order - it was safer as long as Julia was chomping at the bit to blow out her sister's candles). We hadn't realized we had bought trick candles until a couple of them spontaneously burst into flame again.

Maria stoically opened her gift and let out a muted, "Oh!" when she saw what it was. It turned out to be a real hit - with her sisters as much as with Maria. We had to set some firm boundaries to make sure Maria got a chance to use it herself! We have to admit we were relieved when the cheesy ear bud speakers it came with broke within a week. She's been assured we have more ear buds at home that she'll be able to use. I originally brought out my Ipod to divert the younger sisters while Maria was using her player. The diversion worked a little too well.