Shower

People have started asking about gifts and a mom's shower. Instead of doing a store registry, we have made a list on a parallel site, ukrprincesses.blogspot.com. There is a shower being planned at Pleasant View Bible Church for sometime in March.

We don't mind getting multiples of items on the first two lists. If you get us something on the third, "one of each" list, please email my parents, Herman and Maryann Hartzler, at hermhart7@gmail.com so they can cross it off. They can also provide a mailing address. Thanks!

Back on the paperwork path, Uzhgorod sights

We started the day off by giving an interview to the Center for Civic Initiatives for us to include an article about our family in their monthly newspaper. Our preseence is a useful opportunity to talk positively about adoption and build some community pride in their good orphanage and encourage people to get involved. Everyone in the office had suggested this one by one when I first met them a week ago. Then the writer hurried off to another interview for a companion article about a local woman who heard that a recent graduate of the orphanage who is a single mom was going to be on the street and offered an empty room in her house; unfortunately, this room is not heated and there is no money for firewood for the mom and the baby, but it is inspiring that the lady accepted this stranger into her house.

After that we went on the bus with Sheila and her husband Maxim, who is a professional dancer and theatrical actor, to Uzhgorod. They will be accompanying a Transcarpathian cultural performance team to eastern U.S. in May. Max had to work, but Sheila took us to the Uzhgorod Castle and to the architectural museum (a Transcarpathian version of the Pirohovo museum we saw last summer, with a lot of wooden buildings transported here to demonstrate what towns used to look like) and an cheap but delightful restaurant that reminded us that Perechyn is not the best this region has to offer in style and service. We also shopped at a grocery store as big as a full-size American supermarket for the three class parties tomorrow, as well as some essentials like shampoo and toothbrushes for the kids.

We got back to Perechyn pretty exhausted, although Julie had time to go say hi to our daughters and tell them that we were leaving town on Wednesday. They all got very excited about that and were running around telling their friends. I was planning to go to the office for an hour or so but found it was going to close early, so just ended up working on some email in the room until Julie got back.

Then we met Val for the first time in almost two weeks and went out for supper in our new favorite restaurant in town: Pidkova (the Horseshoe). It has a nonsmoking room (which has been closed 2 out of 4 times for parties), solid Wi-fi, and an excellent banosh. (In fact, when Julie first tasted it, she said "Now we don't have to go back to the chan," which has given me lots of chance to tease her that the only reason she wanted another visit to the chan, 45 minutes each way, 90 minutes in the pot, and 4 dips in the icy creek, was to eat its banosh afterwards.) He had good news: not only did the court release the final copy of the decree to him, but the local passport office accepted our papers early so they can get started as soon as possible. This is leaving a little more room for hoping that we can catch the 4 pm Kiev train on Wednesday and maybe even get the flight on Saturday instead of sometime next week. Getting our paperwork done at the Perechyn passport office tomorrow is going to be critical if we want a chance to dodge what Val fears may be a 4-day weekend.

New vocabulary:
banosh (BAHN-osh) - heat and stir cream until it clots, then slowly stir in corn meal and let congeal into a heavy pudding, then cover with homestyle curds, crackling (roasted bacon pieces), and dollops of sour cream.
chan (CHAHN)- Transcarpathian mountain hot tub, a metal pot heated over a wood fire, with stones in the bottom to keep you from getting burned and scented with large bunches of herbs

This morning over breakfast we made a list of all the things we need to get done before we leave the region. There are bills to be paid, forms to be prepared, phone calls to make, and parties to plan. If we check out of our hotel on Wednesday morning as planned, most of that will need to be done by the end of the business day on Tuesday. Suddenly, our time here in Perechyn is rushing to an end.
Paying for different stages of the girls' paperwork is always in cash and means we need to be thinking ahead to be able to have the right amounts on hand on the right day without carrying too much excess cash. Once we start applying for the visas, some of the fees can only be paid in US dollars, so that adds another twist - having the right kind of money on the right day in the right amount.
This evening I was working on the 5 forms that we'll need to submit to the Embassy as we apply for the visas the girls will need to enter the States. It's convenient to be able to download them from online, but we'll need to find a way to print them out tomorrow and have them filled out before we hit the ground in Kiev.
One of the more fun things on the list is planning a good-bye party for each of the girls and their classes. We have some small toys that we brought along to give to their classmates (thanks to Stan's mom and her neighbor) and we'll be shopping for refreshments tomorrow. The plan is to have the parties on Tuesday afternoon and say all the big good-byes then. The girls will still be there Tuesday night, but we would pick them up the next morning without a lot of fanfare on our way to Uzhgorod where we would hopefully be picking up passports and getting on the train to Kiev.
Are you getting excited yet? I know we are. Here are a few fun pictures of the girls that I've been looking for an excuse to post.

Here's Julia "it's all mine" Hartzler!

One of the girls' favorite things is playing with my hair. One day Stan got a picture of Maria fixing my hair while I braided Olena's hair.

When we got done, Maria took a picture of our finished work.

Counting down our last few visits

As we were walking back from the orphanage today, I was happy to be able count our remaining visits on one hand. As orphanages go, I consider this one a pretty bright and cheerful place. So many of the teachers we've met have a real connection with the kids. The place is pretty clean although well worn. Every physical need is met.
Kids can't thrive in an institution, though. We'll be happy for the day our girls come to live with us. Even so, we'll leave a part of our hearts here with the kids that are staying behind. I still haven't processed some of the sights I've seen - a young teenage girl with her head in her hands, crying alone in a corner of an empty room, grade school boys hungry for a chance to hug a parent figure, kids that daily ask if we know of any families who would adopt them.
Here are a few pictures of the orphanage and (on a lighter note) one of Julia in her dance class today.

Day 11

Happy Birthday to my sister Amy! Yes, this is the 11th day since our court date. We aren't picking up papers today, though because the local judge started counting the 10 days from when the Kiev SDA office received the papers from the court session. Monday will be the day when the wheels start turning again.

Today I spent a good chunk of the day in Uzhgorod again, this time checking the last few items off my shopping list. The girls each have an outfit as well as coats and shoes. I'm thanking God that I was able to find everything they needed. Finding all the right items and sizes was quite a challenge because I didn't have any direct access to any English-speakers during the whole process and I couldn't bring the girls along with me to try things on. I've learned my colors, numbers, and clothing words much better in the past week. I know you'll be much happier to see the girls in the clothes, but here is a preview of what they'll be wearing as well as Julia modeling her cap and scarf.

It's been steadily snowing here for about two days and though you couldn't call it a snow storm, the snow has slowly accumulated. When I got to the orphanage this afternoon, Olena's teacher was telling me about something the class had done. Olena grabbed a piece of chalk and started drawing a snowman on the chalkboard. Sure enough, there in a metal bucket in the corner was a small snowman, slowly getting smaller. He was pretty cute so we got a picture of the class with their snowman.

School Museum and Timeline

One interesting thing about the girls' orphanage is that it houses a cultural museum with one of the best displays of traditional embroidery in the province. Our first chance to see it was this afternoon. After our regular visit we went with Maria and two older girls to see the museum and take pictures. Just this afternoon Olena's teacher showed us some examples of her own embroidery work on rushnyky, ornamental drapes or towels used in ceremonies such a weddings. Maria has also shown us some samples of her own embroidery work.

As we were walking home from the orphanage we started counting how many visits we had left. We've been using this waiting period to get a lot of work done but soon we will be back in the thick of the paper chase again.

The court decree goes into effect tomorrow but the paperwork will not be available to us until Monday the 28th. We'll apply for the new birth certificates that next morning when the vital records office opens for the week and get our "KGB" clearance. Wednesday morning we'll put together paperwork for the girls' passports and try to submit it before noon in Uzhgorod. If that comes together, we should be able expedite the passports and have them in hand by the end of the work day. If so, we'd be taking the girls from the orphanage on Wednesday and taking the train to Kiev that evening. Any delay in that process has the potential to set us back a day or more.

Once in Kiev we'll be taking the girls in for a screening physical, then an interview at the U.S. embassy as we work through the process of obtaining their U.S. visas. It seems reasonable to assume we could be flying back to the U.S. on March 8th or 10th (not the 9th because March 8th is Women's Day and we won't be able to pick up papers that day because all offices will be closed- we'd have to wait an additional day if we didn't get the papers on March 7th).

The following pictures are Olena's teacher's embroidery and Maria at the museum.

Men's Day

Today was Men's Day so I got a lot of cheery congratulations. Originally it was Red Army Day to honor soldiers but now has become the counterpart to International Women's Day which is a big deal here. We also had an office party with chickens and cookies. The director and I were the only men out of about 11. It felt a lot like a Moroccan party, with a bunch of people hunched around a small table in a run-down kitchen with a lot of laughter and effusive hospitality.

Julie had a very successful shopping day. The shop owner actually picked her up at the hotel, and she got most of what we needed including Maria's white coat.

Birthday Party

Today's post was delayed due to our unreliable internet connection. Thanks for following our blog!
One piece of news that had to remain confidential until court was the fact that Maria celebrated her birthday on February 5th. Back in Kiev when we looked at the files I had seen that one of them was going to have a birthday soon. Once we started visiting the girls, we clarified that it was Maria. As her birthday drew near, she made sure that we knew when her birthday was. The day before her birthday we drew her aside to chat. I said, "You will be eleven tomorrow?" She vehemently denied this and told us she would be twelve. Stan and I both sucked in our breath. We only had clearance through the USCIS to adopt kids up to age eleven. I started thinking it through - we had seen all her documents including birth certificate and medical report of birth. We asked again, "Are you sure you won't be eleven?" Nope, she was sure she would be twelve. Later, we asked our facilitator about this and he laughed. He explained that it was cultural for her to consider herself twelve when she started her twelfth year of life. Just how do you talk any kid into repeating a year?

We had fun planning her party. Our first trip to Uzhgorod, the bigger city nearby, was to buy a cake and present for her. We picked out a small MP3 player for her, found a cake with pink flowers on top, and bought some chocolates for her to pass out to her friends. We were able to secure the library for the afternoon and our facilitator diverted the girls long enough for us to arrange a table with the cake with (twelve!) candles, plates, napkins, gift, and chocolates. We were all ready when they filed back into the room to video their response. We expected them to run over to the table, exclaim delight and surprise, then start shaking the present or poking their fingers into the cake. It was Mom & Dad who got the surprise when, as soon as they caught a glimpse of the table, they wordlessly ran to the opposite side of the room where I was standing and clung to me as they buried their faces in my sweater.

They weren't unhappy. I could see glimpses of sparking eyes and happy smiles. They were just overwhelmed. Even a simple one-present birthday party with a very basic cake was just more than they could process on the spot.

It still takes my breath away when I think about it. Could this have been her first birthday cake? We know Ukrainians can go all out for a kid's birthday party. We've seen large groups in restaurants with scads of kids and multiple cakes. These girls, however, have lived a tough life so far and it's likely that their birthdays may have passed without much of a celebration.

After a couple of minutes we managed to get the girls around the table and light the candles. Julia immediately blew out about half of them (she knew that much about a birthday cake!). After relighting them Maria blew her candles out and we sang to her (in that order - it was safer as long as Julia was chomping at the bit to blow out her sister's candles). We hadn't realized we had bought trick candles until a couple of them spontaneously burst into flame again.

Maria stoically opened her gift and let out a muted, "Oh!" when she saw what it was. It turned out to be a real hit - with her sisters as much as with Maria. We had to set some firm boundaries to make sure Maria got a chance to use it herself! We have to admit we were relieved when the cheesy ear bud speakers it came with broke within a week. She's been assured we have more ear buds at home that she'll be able to use. I originally brought out my Ipod to divert the younger sisters while Maria was using her player. The diversion worked a little too well.

Clothes shopping, New office

Today was an awesome day. I met Sheila, our Peace Corps friend, at 9:30 and got to put in a full day of work in the office of the Ukrainian NGO that hosts her, benefiting from good internet, a good desk, and a warm and smoke-free and quiet office environment. All the staff I met, mostly after 4 pm when they got off their day jobs, were very welcoming and supportive.
Meanwhile, Julie took the bus to Uzhgorod and bought a cute pink down coat for Julia and a couple pairs of girls' shoes and did a lot of good scouting for the rest. She also ran into Oxana, our high-powered hotel manager, who has a friend in the city that will purportedly help Julie finish getting the things she needs at "friend" prices. The clothes were a big hit with the girls and probably are helping the departure date seem more real. All 3 of them spent a lot of time absorbed with videos and photos on the netbook of yesterday's program as well as our early interactions at the orphanage and of our home.
Julie does an amazing job with the Russian she has and is better than I am at learning on the spot. Today after shopping she ran out of mental steam, though, which happens occasionally to both of us, with interesting results like these:

(at Uzhgorod bus station)
Ticket agent: Where to?
Julie: To Uzhgorod.
Agent: You are here. Where to?
Julie: To Uzhgorod.

(at a cafe by the bus station, to waitress sweeping the floor)
Julie: A coffee please.
Waitress: We're closed.
Julie: A tea please.

We love Ukraine, but it will be great to be home again!

The Kingdom of English Grammar

Today we enjoyed being the only parents at a school presentation/play. Having been at two of the rehearsals, we also knew that the final show came together surprisingly well, thanks to the English teacher's hard work.
Julia was one of the kids to recite an English poem on her own. She had been learning it from a copy transliterated for her into Cyrillic, so when we first saw it a couple of days ago, we had a hard time deciphering some of the words. Right before the program we went over it with her a few times and she did a good job rehearsing. During the presentation, she needed a little prompting from her teacher to get through to the end. We made sure to get a video recording of her reciting her poem. A friend of mine who adopted a girl from Ukraine said she wished she had taken more video of her daughter in the first six months she was learning English because after that she had lost her cute accent.
Popular hair accessories for school girls in Ukraine include what I like to call the 'dollop of whipped cream' hair tie. When we were here in August, I noticed all the school girls wore one or two of these on their first day of school. Has anyone seen this before? How about in Slovakia or Spain?

Already but not yet

We have taken one Sabbath day already since we were here and went up into the mountains to the spa and the creek, but today's Sabbath is really more to our taste since we have stayed in our hotel except for our regular visit. We are feeling in need of it more than we have since we were in Morocco, since we are being stretched by a lot of different kinds of pressures. For me especially, the struggle to trust is a spiritual battle that needs a lot of effort.

We are realizing, though, that this is a very valuable time; it is the time in our family history that uniquely captures this present chapter in our own spiritual adoption. A time of groaning and waiting, although a time that will soon be over and seem far away.

God has already come on a big trip seeking us, and he paid a great price to adopt us. He called us by his name and gave us new names, he gives us good gifts, we have legally been declared his children, and his Spirit is in us crying "Papa!" We have a new citizenship guaranteed to us but haven't set foot on that country's soil yet. We still are clothed in the temporary, holey, shabby bodies that we had to begin with, but he is preparing for us a glorious, holy wardrobe. We can meet with him daily, but he hasn't been able to take us home, and we still have to deal with this stinking place and a lot of griefs and sufferings including those of the other people here who have not been adopted. Not least is the pain of separation from him. Some days we (like Julia often does) tell him "Tomorrow, and tomorrow and babble-babble and America???!!!" and he patiently says "Not tomorrow or the next day but in a few weeks", and other days we (also like Julia, specifically as we were leaving today) throw a 15 minute crying fit because he won't let us listen to his Ipod. Ultimately, we really have no concept of how awesome the things are that he has prepared for us, but we kind of know that being with him and being loved by him are more important than all that anyway.

Clothes and Colors

Today I went to visit the girls while Stan was working at the tea house that has the best public internet access in town. One thing on my to do list is to figure out what the girls' clothing sizes are and buy some basic clothes to travel home with. Everything they wear now belongs to the orphanage. Unfortunately it doesn't look like we will be able to take them out shopping with us while we are in this area, so I took a measuring tape with me today and we checked their shoes for the European sizing on them. I didn't find any tags on the clothes they are wearing, so I'll have to rely on my measurements.
I explained to them I needed to buy them clothes. I drew the basic outline of several items that were on my list, spilled out the box of crayons and asked them what colors they wanted for a coat, cap, scarf, pants, etc. The picture below is the result of the exercise. Maria, as you can see, wanted a white coat and white boots. Olena likes yellow, but was indecisive about boots so we had to draw a second pair so she could color them pink. When we asked Julia what color of coat she wanted, she picked out the black crayon. The rest of us all exclaimed, "Black?" She just nodded confidently and said, "Like Mom's!" She also picked a black sweater (I was wearing a black sweater) and pink cap and scarf with black gloves like mine. Blue pants matched my blue jeans. Maybe there will be a Julie, Jr. after all!

English teacher

Today I was expecting to get a lot of work done but had trouble hitting my company's server even though the internet was otherwise working; this evening that is OK but we are just having flaky internet overall. So tomorrow I am planning to hang out at Totem, the smoke-free tea house down the street.

Julie went earlier than I did to the orphanage so I could get some extra work done, but I joined for the last 30 minutes to a very excited welcome. We are getting more hugs and kisses than ever. Julie, Maria, and Olena were doing hair and nails and stuff but I got right into an old maid game (this is by far the most popular activity we have introduced even though our deck is very beat up; we did learn early on that we need to play without the old maid, though, since "not fun" things happen when Yulia draws that) with Yulia and two other kids. Since we were in Maria's classroom, I got to look at some posted photos with her of her class doing various activities; there are only 7 of them so I get the impression they are pretty close.

Today's new event was a late lunch (right after our visit) with the orphanage's English teacher, Yana, a native of Perechyn. It was very refreshing to be in a real home. We met her 7th-grader son and her cat, saw a lot of her daughter's wedding and baby pictures, and had some home cooking instead of restaurant cooking, altogether a delightful time. She was a great source of information about life in the orphanage, really the first time we could ask questions directly to someone who speaks English. She teaches only Olena and Julia since 5th grade studies "Deutsch" as their foreign language. We found out there are 23 ninth-graders, a lot more than the grades we have seen; high school classrooms are in a different part of the building. The English classroom is really cheerful and well equipped, with nice headphones at each desk and tons of creative resources: books, games, flash cards, maps. Yana obviously puts a lot of thought and work into what she does and really loves the kids.

We got a call from Val in Kiev that confirmed that we are going to have a significant delay (15 days instead of 11 before we can take the next step, which might lead to further delays because of when weekends line up). It's frustrating, but we need to just be glad that the right things are happening.

We brought a bunch of DVDs along, but haven't had time to watch any yet, so I think we are going to do that for the first time to reset our brains a little. I am really psyched because today is the first day that I am feeling good again.

Valentine's party, Rehearsal

This morning we sat down with our facilitator and traced through a couple of possible timelines for the rest of our time in Ukraine. One issue that has come up is that there has been a misunderstanding between the judge in the local court and the SDA in Kiev that could end up delaying our return by at least four days. We are praying that this might be cleared up in the next day or two.

Even after court yesterday, our day ended up being eventful. After rushing back from court to post our good news we hiked back to the orphanage to tell the girls. Stan had bought them each a long-stemmed rose for Valentine's Day. When we arrived they were all busy with classes so we pulled them out of their classrooms just long enough to give them their rose and a Valentine's Day card with chocolate and tell them the news from the court. Maria seemed the happiest to hear the result; she probably better understood the implications of the decision.

Yesterday evening Stan had made some reservations at a restaurant here in Perechyn that was hosting a special Valentine's Day dinner featuring live music from a local band. We had gotten to know the owner of this restaurant because he had taken us up to the mountains when we went hiking a week ago Sunday. We were enjoying the music and had just finished the salad course when the restaurant owner began to systematically move from table to table with a microphone, apparently interviewing the men at each of the tables. It was all happening in Ukrainian (mostly in the very regional dialect of Ukrainian) so we didn't have a clue what was going on. Because the owner knew us and knew that Stan could speak some Russian, he wasn't going to leave us out of the proceedings. He introduced us by name and launched into his interview. Unfortunately, we still couldn't follow what he was saying even though he apparently switched to Russian when he started interviewing Stan. Stan had just replied (in Russian into the microphone) "We're glad to be here, thanks!" when a lady came over to our table and offered to interpret. She quickly explained she was also American. The owner had been asking all the guys to describe their first encounter with their first love.

Stan, to my chagrin, launched into the story of when we decided to start dating. If you're not familiar with that story it involves a return trip to a coffee shop, a stop at a gas station in Norwalk, and an attempted gang assassination - but that's a different story for a different blog post. When I crawled out from under the table where I was hiding, I realized I knew our impromptu interpreter. She was a Peace Corps volunteer who had some blog sites that detailed some of the community projects she was working with in Perechyn. I had been reading her blogs and was planning to contact her about a specific housing project for kids who had graduated from the orphanage school. I introduced myself and explained that I had been reading her blog site. She invited us to come sit with her and her husband. Her husband grew up in the orphanage where our girls are now. She and her husband had just gotten married a few months ago and will be moving to the U.S. this summer. We spent the evening getting the inside scoop on life in Perechyn and thankfully avoiding any further interview questions from the restaurant owner.

Since our day had already been a long one, we excused ourselves early and made arrangements to meet with her again today. We spent a couple of hours with her at a cafe this afternoon, asking her questions about the community, the challenges for kids that graduate from the orphanage school, and some of the amazing people here who are working hard to support these kids as they struggle to negotiate their first years on their own.

This afternoon when we went to visit the kids, we were invited to a presentation by the younger grade school kids (including Julia and Olena). It was called, "The Kingdom of English Grammar." The very enthusiastic English teacher directed the kids as they played their parts in a very creative presentation of the congugation of the verbs "to be" and "to run" in several tenses, in the negative form, and in question form. Each of the kids had a different word hung around their neck as they played different parts of the sentence. Julia was the word "it" and Olena was the word "do." It made me very glad that I never had to learn English as a new language.

After the program we chatted with the English teacher who showed us the language lab and various learning materials. We accepted an invitation to spend some time with her at her home tomorrow afternoon.

Julia as "it" hangs out with "he" and "she"














Olena is the second girl from the right

Court

"The country of Ukraine... response to the petition of Hartzler Stanley Jason and Hartzler Julie Ann: to satisfy!" "The father's name: Hartzler Stanley Jason... The mother's name: Hartzler Julie Ann."

Those words spoken to the court recorder, the orphanage rep, the facilitator, and us about half an hour ago by the judge are probably all that's really important about the court case but I'll add some more details. We got to the orphanage around 8:30, back on the road at 9 with all five of us walking on the street together for the first time, to the court at 9:30, waited outside the secretary's office for about an hour before entering the courtroom. It was probably close to freezing in there, it's kind of a glass and concrete addition to the rest of the government building. The judge asked all 5 of us a lot of questions and went page by page through our dossier and the other stack of paperwork. The girls were amazingly good. We were a little nervous, but the judge lightened up the tension with the occasional joke (e.g., when reading our Ukrainian facilitator's personal data, he said "Residence: California. You live in California?!"). The cutest moment was towards the end when he asked Maria if she loved us and Yulia enthusiastically interrupted "Yes!" at the same time and a little louder than her sister. We caught a minibus back to the orphanage and managed to get the girls let into the locked cafeteria for an overdue lunch a little after 12; the court session lasted a little over an hour.

We walked back to town from the orphanage and met Val to warm up over lunch before returning to court at 1:45. Around 2:30 we were escorted into the courtroom again, where the judge read out the decree. It will go into effect eleven days from now as long as none of the participating parties (social services, the orphanage, the SDA, the district attorney, and ourselves) appeal it before then. Since this is quite unlikely, all those parties having recommended this outcome, we have gone ahead and posted an introduction to our girls with their pictures and decreed names.

Drum Roll, Please!

Introducing. . .

Maria Aimee Hartzler

Maria is the transliteration of her Ukrainian name, the name she was given at birth. We gave the middle name Aimee which means loved. Stan particularly likes the French spelling of the name. Her two names also remind us of two of her aunts.

Olena Joy Hartzler

Olena is also a transliteration of her Ukrainian name. It's the Ukrainian form of Helen or Ellen.

Pronunciation of this name is roughly as it would be in Spanish: "o-LEH-nah"

Joy because of the joy she brings into our lives.

Julia Danielle Hartzler

Yulia is the transliteration of her Ukrainian name so we took some liberties with the spelling. It is the Ukrainian version of the name Julie (our facilitator asked if she would be Julie Junior). We also named her Danielle, which reminds us of her sunny disposition and for the prophet Daniel who crossed a culture, learned a new language and became a servant of God's purposes in a new land.

Happy Valentine's Eve

As I sit down to write, we are 13 hours away from our court appearance. Tomorrow morning at 8:30 we'll arrive at the orphanage to pick up the girls and the orphanage representative. We'll walk back to town with them and go to the court building where we'll meet our facilitator and the social worker. We're scheduled for a 10:00 am hearing. If all goes well, we will be announcing our kids' names and posting their pictures on our next blog post! I can't wait for you all to meet them!

Second day in bed

I've missed the last two days' visits, sleeping until about noon and spending most the rest of the day dozing except when it's time to eat. On the bright side, I'll soon surely feel much better. Here's the view from our hotel window (including snowflakes).


I'm starting to get the impression that a lot of people here don't know Russian or at least won't speak it. I thought they did, because they seem to be understanding me OK, but I was frustrated at how little I was understanding. However, now that I am starting to learn more Ukrainian words, I am realizing that everyone is replying to me in Ukrainian. I guess I shouldn't feel too bad; Val's mother tongue is Ukrainian, and he says that he has heard Transcarpathians talking to each other and not even realized that they were speaking Ukrainian until later.

Today Julie got to see the two youngest girls in a dance class and then cut out paper dolls with all three of them as well as doing some of our standard activities. To get me some fresh air, Julie and I did go out to get a hot drink at the tea house down the street this afternoon when she got back. It has an African carving decor theme, and lots of kinds of tea and coffee for sale in addition to what they serve. It's actually no smoking, which is an amazing difference, but they don't serve food. It is next door to a more typical cafe that has very sophisticated decor and a page and a half of crepes; that is going to be our default breakfast spot when we want more than we can fix in our room. So far it's worked great to have fruit, bread, cheese, yoghurt, and cookies in our room, though, for quick meals.

Day with the Third Grade

Today Stan was sick in bed all day, so it was my turn to venture out on my own. I bought some groceries including fruit, juice and various other drinks to help keep us hydrated as we fight off our illnesses. Later, I went to the orphanage to visit the girls. The walk from our hotel takes about 20 minutes and today it was snowing heavily. I took a cue from the locals and carried an umbrella to keep my hat and scarf from getting coated with snow.

When I arrived, I found our usual place to visit with the girls was not available so we ended up in the middle girl's classroom. The middle girl's teacher has been very friendly to us. She even encourages the girl to use the English that she's been learning in class. The teacher prompted her to say, "Sit down, please," when I came into the classroom.

It seemed like it was an unstructured playtime for the class so we weren't interrupting anything. As soon as we sat down and got out our activities, the entire class was grouped around us. I think everyone in third grade played Animal Upon Animal today! They also joined in on our origami and old maid game.

As we were leaving, I tried to tell the girls that Monday would be a big day. We would show up early in the morning and go together with the orphanage attorney to town where we'd see our facilitator and their social worker. I didn't know the word for court, so I couldn't really explain why we were going to town. The oldest one jumped in with, "Photo?" If she knew friends from before who had been adopted, she might have thought we would be taking passport pictures. By tomorrow, I'm going to have to look up the word for court and judge!

Homemade cards, New hotel

Wednesday: We were very happy to check out of our hotel this morning, and it was much easier to move than we expected. The manager sent a taxi to pick us up. I won't list what was wrong with the last room, but we had been there long enough that it was starting to be too much. I don't think we realized what a difference it was going to make. The new place is bright (day and night), clean, fresh, and the staff is cheerful and friendly.

The highlight of the day was sitting in our comfortable, stuffed, living room furniture and opening an envelope that the oldest girl handed us today. She had asked to borrow the crayons we have been using and we got to see what she had been doing with them. There were several homemade cards, mostly valentines, all hand cut and fully colored. We will need help to figure out what they say and even if they are all from our girls.

Thursday: Both sick today. So glad we are in the new hotel. Julie sick to stomach most of last 24 hours but ate rice and brothwith noodles tonight. I woke up at 8 with cold symptoms but slept off the worst of it until after noon then hustled off to the orphanage. They had distinguished guests, so the kids put on an elaborate patriotic ceremony with recitations, dancing, and beautiful singing.

The manager asked about Julie by name when she found out from the restaurant that she was sick and even went out and bought some medecine for her. The cheerful waitress (who had introduced herself amicably the first day) turned down a tip when she brought the food to our room. And the housekeeper is just as kind and personable.

Papers and Pen Markings

We received a call from our facilitator today who is currently in Kiev. After spending the day waiting at the SDA, he was able to pick up all the remaining papers needed for our court date. He'll be arriving Monday morning on the train to join us at the court appearance.

Yesterday during our visit the younger girls were also asking for our phone number. We told them they should talk to the older girl about calling. This morning we got a phone call from the older girl and the younger girl together. Apparently the middle girl didn't get in on the call. When we arrived at the orphanage today, we saw that both the middle girl and her classmate now have our phone number. They wrote it out in pen in one-inch tall numbers on their arms!

Before I close my post today, I want to be sure to wish a very happy birthday to my sister, Kris. Love you, sis!

Three Moves

When I stepped out side this morning I thought I caught the scent of spring. There's still a lot of snowy weather yet to come, but we are in the middle of a nice thaw. The sun shone more today than it has the entire time we've been here. Tomorrow's forecast has the high in the lower 40'so with sunshine once again. Our hike to the orphanage was a little muddier than before, but fortunately we both have good boots for slogging through the mud.

One thing I forgot to blog about yesterday was that the middle girl was released from the infirmary. When we arrived yesterday I saw her marching across the yard with a lady from the infirmary. She was carrying her little bundle of personal effects: slippers, our photo album, the watercoloring book we gave her, and few other clothing items. When she saw me she came running but her arms were too full to hug me so she leaned into me and I gave her a hug.

Today our facilitator returned to Kiev. He'll be joining us again before our court date with the paperwork from the Kiev SDA office. We've been functioning fairly independently so it's not a big change from before and he's always just a phone call away.

Tomorrow morning we are planning to move to a hotel that's more in the center of the village. It was full when we first arrived, then had some problems providing internet access in the past week. We went to see the room we'd be staying in and try out the internet connection this evening. This hotel is closer to grocery stores, the train stop, and the administrative offices in town. Since we go pretty much everywhere on foot, this should save us a lot of time and energy. It's also a little newer, brighter, and has a small playground. If the kids end up spending much time with us, it will be a lot easier to manage at this new place.

Court Date

Good news: we have a court date! Our adoption petition will be heard on February 14th, Valentine's Day at 10 am. That's one business day later than in our original optimistic estimate, 3 calendar days later. Suddenly the rest of our time here in Ukraine has taken shape. Day 11 will be February 25th (Happy Birthday, Amy!) This will be too late to keep our original return ticket date which was March 1st, but I'm grateful that it's slowing things down a little. We are weary from the language strain, culture stress, and the emotional energy it takes to sort out our new roles as parents, and offsite parents at that.

We can't help but looking forward to the time the girls can be with us. They are looking forward to that, too. Today the youngest one asked me if tomorrow we would all go to America. I told her (in my broken Russian which she understands even though she speaks in Ukrainian) "Tomorrow - here, the day after tomorrow - here." She continued, "then the next tomorrow, the next tomorrow, the next tomorrow, then we all go to America?" I told her, "in the train, then in the airplane, then in the car, then in America." She smiled and spun around. Later, I had Stan make sure she understood it would be a matter of weeks.

I made the mistake this week of showing the middle girl my Ipod and letting her listen to it. Now for the last 10 minutes of our visits, she does her best to beg me into leaving it with her at the orphanage. She smiles her cutest smile and begs, "Mom, music. . . pleeease!" 'Please' literally in Ukrainian means 'let there be mercy.' I guess I'm showing no mercy because my answer is always no. It's not something we can leave overnight at the orphanage. I'm relieved, however, because now I know how we'll keep her busy during all those hours traveling.

Yesterday Stan took a break from work and we got out of town for a few hours in the afternoon. We went to a village up in the mountains and started off by hiking down to a small frozen waterfall. We followed up our hike with a soak in a Transcarpathian-style hot tub (I'll let Stan fill you in on the details in a later post) then a hearty mountain feast in a rustic restaurant. Here are some of the pictures to document our afternoon out.

This week, Older kids

Hopefully we have been able to convey a lot of the experiences including the emotions of these years of our adoption process. Words only go so far, though, so I will also link to some of the music we are listening to. This is a song that didn't grab me much until I heard this new "Rock of Ages" rendition, and some of the lyrics have really resonated: "This might hurt; it's not safe... I don't care if I break... I don't want to spend my whole life asking, 'What if I had given everything?' No regrets, not this time. I'm going to let my heart defeat my mind, because 'Just OK' is not enough." As we are starting to see the amazing thing that God is unfolding in our lives and still trusting him to bring us through the next steps on his path, we are so thankful that we did not settle for anything easier or safer.

Going into this critical week of finding out tomorrow (Monday) the details about our assigned court date and judge and hopefully actually having the court session late in the week, it's appropriate to bring back a blog quote from the day that everything finally fell apart last summer:

One of our daily themes here has been that our efforts are in vain unless he is building our home [Ps. 127]; they are just our cooperative obedience because he includes us in the process. We have also consistently defined success as obedience, not a specific result, and in this moment he is giving me the joy of being in his arms and the feeling of doing exactly what he made me for. I feel much more empowered to wait for the right opportunity than before, less concerned about the cost, and more passionate than ever about the importance of adopting hurt kids.

We have gotten very close to these girls, and it's awesome that they seem as interested in connecting with us as we are with them. But there are other factors in the process, so this is the key time to be praying as lots of things need to still go right. After the court decision, there still will be a ten-day appeal window, but an appeal is a very rare thing and the remaining paperwork will be pretty much just a matter of doing it.

When people asked about whether the process would be the same for this trip as for the last, we mentioned that we were eligible for younger children this time, but also that we were bringing paperwork that would let us adopt children as old as 11, as the summer's experience (and our reading) had really opened our hearts to the idea of adopting older children than we had thought was practical when we made the original application.

On the topic of older children, I really want to talk a little bit about some of the ones we have met in this orphanage. We have been very rightly focused on our girls so far in our blogging, but I have been so impressed by my interactions with the teenagers we have met here that I want to say at least a few words about them. There are at least 6 of them that we have gotten to know by name, and we have occasionally included one or another of them in our games or conversations. These kids, probably 13-15 years old, are mature, resourceful, responsible, kind, sincere, and just plain fun; some of them also have decent English, and they have always spoken respectfully and amiably with us from the first day we walked in. They often are the ones that go get our girls when we arrive. One of them is in charge of the key to the library where we meet and is also in charge of cleaning it (which meant she found and returned a nice earring that Julie lost one day). They are obviously functioning as role models for our girls and responsible in some part for (and, I believe, also products of) the positive climate in this particular orphanage (one of these days we will perhaps contrast it favorably with the other two we have visited); there were surely adults supervising in classrooms and infirmary, but I did not see any adults in the halls and courtyard. (The fact that kids here have chores is a great preparation for life and antidote to an entitlement mentality, and is definitely not true everywhere.) Another, rather shy one approached our facilitator quietly recently while he was to the side and shared some of her story with him and asked if he would be able to find a family for her.

That reminds me of the neat Texan family that we met this summer who came with all their kids to adopt a specific 16-year-old girl in a Christian orphanage that they had heard about . We got to hang out with them and their new daughter a little bit while we were waiting in Kiev. Here is their blog: http://www.davidkirk.org/, although there certainly are many interesting adoption blogs. One site that is a sort of unofficial Ukraine adoption blog hub is http://pretreadoptionblog.blogspot.com/; it is run by a family that adopted two teenagers two years ago, but also has links in the margin to tons of other blogs.

I guess I'm not saying that everyone should think about adopting Ukrainian teenagers, but there is a kind of negative stereotype about adopting teenagers that is out there and that I had. I am now getting to know impressive teenagers that would be very easy to consider adopting, and I have seen on the blogs that a lot of people have done that and not regretted it, especially since many are very motivated to make things work, so I hope that I can at least correct that stereotype a little bit.

A few lines about each of the girls

Twice in the past week we've spent time with the girls in the youngest girl's classroom. The first day I noticed she had the family picture book we gave her out on top of her desk. She has decorated it with stickers. I hadn't gone through it with them since the first day so I grabbed it and started reading it to her. I was surprised how well she could follow along repeating names. She pointed to the picture of the backyard and asked if this was ours and I assured her that it was.

The middle girl is still staying at the infirmary. She told us she had been going to class so it seems like she is improving. She hasn't been coughing as much in the past few days. As far as I can understand, the orphanage doctor will be checking her out on Monday to see if she go back to her regular dorm room. Today I went to get her from the infirmary and the lady in charge brought me back to the room where she was sleeping. She woke up a little groggy so I sat down beside her on the bed where she gave me a hug. Just when I thought she was going to snuggle back down and fall asleep again, she threw the covers back and scurried out to the hall to get her boots and coat on so we could go play in the main building where her sisters were.

The oldest girl has been asking for our telephone number, both for Ukraine and in the U.S. We're not entirely sure, but it seems like they don't fully understand that we'll be staying here and visiting them until we take them with us. Sometimes adoptive parents will travel back to their home country during the adoption process, particularly if the court date is delayed or there are holidays that slow down the process. We've explained to them in a few different ways that we'll be here until we take them home, but every now and then they ask a question that seems to indicate they're not sure if we're staying much longer. Asking for our U.S. phone number was one of those.

Today we gave her our Ukrainian cell phone number. This evening she called on an older girl's phone to "beep" us - she called and hung up to let us know she wanted us to call. In countries where only the caller has to pay for phone time that's how you place a collect call, so to speak. She basically wanted to just say hello to both of us. We're glad to see her reaching out to us in her own special ways as she is the most reserved of the bunch.

Process

I'd like to start this post by thanking all of you who are posting comments. You are our cheering section and we always love to hear your encouraging words - both from you who are posting regularly and those who come out of "lurking" to share your hearts (thanks, Carmen!). We are so grateful for this community that is walking with us through all the ups and downs.

Something that has come up in the comments has been questions regarding how the process unfolds from here on out. At times this has been a bit of a mystery to us, too. Each region handles things just a little bit differently so we've been learning as we go. At the risk of being a little dry, I'll try to outline what the rest of the process is for this adoption.

Today our paperwork arrived in Kiev and was submitted to the central office for approval. The approval should be processed and returned to us here in the region by next Wednesday. At the same time, our facilitator turned in paperwork to the local court today. We also got word that our Interpol police clearances were completed as well. Knowing that the paperwork from Kiev will arrive on Wednesday, the first day we could possibly go to court would be Thursday of next week. We should find out on Monday morning when the court will be able to hear our case and which judge will be presiding.

Once the judge hears our case and grants our petition for adoption, there will be a ten day waiting period before the court decree goes into effect. During that time we'll continue to stay in the region and visit the girls daily. On the eleventh day, we'll be able to pick up the court decree and take it to the vital records office here in town where they will issue new birth certificates with the girls' new names. With that in hand, we will be able to apply for their Ukrainian passports.

Waiting for passports will take 8-10 days although there is a possibility to expedite the process for an additional fee (more about that decision later).

Once passports are issued, we will travel back to Kiev where we will interface with the U.S. Embassy for physicals and visas. That will take several more days.

After completing the paperwork in Ukraine, we'll fly back to the States. When we arrive in Chicago we'll go through immigration where, after about an hour-long process, the girls will officially become U.S. citizens. Whew!

There are (at least) two important issues that come to mind as I read through what I've just written. First, when do we get to take the kids out of the orphanage and second, why would we choose to expedite or not expedite the passports?

To answer the first question, we can take the kids out of the orphanage on the eleventh day after our court date. We might wait a day or two just to make sure that all the paperwork is in place for the passports because hauling around kids to all the public offices will surely slow down our ability to move through the bureaucracy.

To answer the second question, the expedite fee x 3 may be cost prohibitive. If we could get a discount for three passports, the cost of staying for another 8-10 days plus the fee of changing our plane tickets might start to equal the expedite fee. In that case, we would choose to expedite the process. It's possible that we might be able to take the kids directly from the orphanage to the train to Kiev if we can get the passports within a day or two after the court decree goes into effect. If not, they'll be spending some time with us at the hotel here in the region.

Estimates at this time are rough at best, but optimistically we could see it unfolding like this:

Court date: Friday, Feb 12

Day 11: Tuesday, Feb 22

Expedited passports in hand, leave for Kiev: Wednesday, Feb 23

Return to U.S.: Tuesday, March 1

For those of you who endured to the end, here are a few photos from our rustic hotel. The first picture is the building our room is in. The second is a hill we can see from the the hotel grounds that has a pilgrimage trail on it. The last two are of the little lounge where Stan spends his working hours.

2nd visit without Val

Super long day today, skipped breakfast to go out and sign the last papers, then Val went into Uzhgorod to send them to Kiev for the SDA to process. We visited without him for more than 2 hours. The oldest happened to see me coming in while walking down the hall and just about bowled me over. Highlights for me: all 3 are calling me Papa now, and both of us are just having obviously sweeter relationships with them every day. We also wrote out and explained the names we chose for each girl, which was kind of a special time. Julie got to hold and comfort two crying girls, one at the beginning and one at the end; the reasons were nothing to worry about, just stuff that normal kids get upset about. Today was nonstop for me since I am working after getting back, with a deadline this weekend.

Short Visit

Today we had a very short visit with the middle girl. Yesterday, the older girl explained that they would be on a field trip today and we probably wouldn't get to see them. The middle girl, however, still has a respiratory infection and wasn't able to go with the group. We tried to go later in the day just in case they returned, but they still had not arrived back at the orphanage.

Whenever we say goodbye to the girls there is quite a flurry of hugs, kisses, and waves goodbye. Just when I think I got through the line, one of them will hug me a second time. Then, not to be outdone, the other two might hug or kiss me again, too. It's a pretty effective way of delaying their departure. Yesterday after we had said goodbye and the girls had scattered their separate ways, I was walking down the hallway at the orphanage and felt a little tug. The youngest one was walking past us, in line with her group. She was walking carefully so as to keep the pace of her line, but waving like crazy.

We can't wait to show you pictures of these girls and tell you their names, but until they are legally ours, we'll refrain from posting pictures online. Her are some pictures we can show you for now.

The first picture is Stan at the cafe near the orphanage.
The second is the hotel where we've been staying.
I will attempt to post a video on this site of the library where we visit the girls.

First visit without Val

Today was the first day we went to visit the kids without the help of our facilitator/interpreter. We introduced the game "Old Maid" to them today, and they were very excited as soon as they saw a deck of cards. They soon were calling the old maid the babushka. It made me wonder if they had played a similar game before.

As their 2:30 mealtime approached, we started cleaning up and getting ready to leave. The oldest girl told us they wouldn't be eating until 5:30pm. Since they always did at this time, Stan went to the administrative office to make sure about their mealtime. The lady in the office assured him that they needed to go eat. It dawned on us that they would rather skip that than have us leave.

As far as paperwork goes, our facilitator now has all the kids' medical certificates and the social worker is working on a packet that will be turned into the Kiev office by Friday if all goes well. Once the SDA processes that paperwork, we'll be able to have our court date. The earliest possible day for court is Feb 10, but we'll try to get a date as soon as the court's docket will allow. Following the court date there will be a 10 day waiting period before the ruling of the court goes into effect. At that point we'll be able to take the girls out of the orphanage. That's still not the end of the paperwork trail, but one step at a time, right?

The youngest is full of smiles and mischief and reminds me of a little Kris. She goes into giggling fits that are so contagious it nearly leaves me helpless. A couple times when we were in the process of saying goodbye for the day, she would calmly slip my purse over her shoulder and start to walk out the door like she was taking it with her, with an unstoppable grin. The other girls would of course exclaim over this and tell her to give it back.

The middle girl is quieter but stays at my side or on my lap most of the time we're visiting. She's the most focused on English right now and recites all the words she knows and tries to copy what I say. She's constantly soliciting hugs and kisses. She's the one that's been running fevers over the weekend so I've been taking lots of vitamins and drinking lots of fluids hoping I won't be the next one sick.

The oldest girl has been warming up to us over the past days. She's always the first one to try to keep the youngest girl in line and she's careful to clean up after herself and her sisters. I think Stan's already already mentioned on the blog that she's interested in sports and drew a picture of herself playing soccer.

Fortunately there are plenty of places that sell toys and games here, as small a village as it is. We've supplemented what we brought with things like a sketch pad, stickers, bubbles, hair accessories, balloons, puzzles, and those light-up koosh balls. There are lots of pink girly kits too - play make up and dress up stuff as well. Everything's pretty cheesy but it does the job. I asked the Italian lady who adopted a girl from this orphanage where she bought her daughter's new clothes. She said she got them in the bigger city nearby.