Critical Days

Beth was right that these are critical days. Today I said a sentence prayer out loud at lunchtime before we headed out and then commented, "This could be a great day." Our facilitator responded, "It will be a great day!" He was confident because he had a long talk yesterday with the older brother discussing his area of concern, which was learning English; at the end he had indicated that if he had to make a decision on the spot it would be yes, but he wanted a little bit of time before making his final decision. The sister was hedgy, but it was clearly because she didn't know what her brother was thinking. After that long talk, we had our best time yet with the older brother, who seemed happy and relaxed. We interpreted that to mean that his concerns had been addressed and he no longer felt conflicted about going.

Well, today was not a great day. The short version of what happened is this. The older brother was like a totally different person and insisted that he did not want to come. The sister insisted that she wanted to come even with her brother trying to get her to say no. The orphanage director (who has been fantastic and seemed as affected as we were today) and facilitator had a long talk with him and there was no reasoning with him; Julie and I also did our best to explain our hearts and to convince him. Our facilitator has done well over 100 adoptions in over 10 years and has never seen a situation like this where a child says no without giving a reason. He likes us, he trusts us, he knows his siblings both want to go, but his answer is no and he refuses to say why.

I ended the session by saying we would come back tomorrow to ask what his reason was. There was no way we were going to get any kind of good response after what unfortunately ended up turning into a marathon session for the boy. It also buys us some time to pray and for the information he heard to sink in. It is possible that he is being threatened by jealous peers. Or it could be something much more complicated. He did get teary at one point, which gives hope that he is at least conflicted. The director said she had never seen him act like this.

For us, of course, it was a kick in the gut. We still have no doubt that God has led us here, even if it ends up being to fly back alone. The facilitator commented to me on the way to the cybercafe that he was amazed that we could be so patient. The only answer is that we know God is in control even of this and he has been good to us so far and will somehow bring good to us even through this. It certainly doesn't mean that we have no tears or that we understand what God is doing.

Tonight is going to be critical. It seems like the obvious thing to pray for is for the boy to change his mind, which after all this would feel like a fairy tale ending. We also pray that he not change the other two kids' minds; if he does, there is probably no point in staying. We are not child stalkers, after all.

Please also pray for us. What is happening is very confusing, especially after some of the other disappointments surrounding this adoption in the last couple of weeks and the last couple of years. Our perspective in these two painful rejections is certainly giving us a lot of clarity about the folly not only of saying no to God's offer of being Savior but also of the dumb mistake we so often make of saying no to God's awesome gifts in favor of the whims of the flesh. We walked into our hotel room this afternoon in shock but also determined not to make the same mistake ourselves by turning to anything but God in our own need.