First 2 Days in Thorez

We have been in Thorez near the Russian border in southeast Ukraine for 2 days now. Yesterday we arrived on a very well-equipped train car, although Julie didn't sleep quite as well as I did. The tracks are very rough, and you get jostled in all 3 dimensions, which does wake me up as well, although the constant rocking motion soothes me to sleep instantly whenever I close my eyes. A driver took us the additional 70 km to Thorez, where we checked into the only hotel in town. Unfortunately it has no internet and there is no cafe within a 1 km radius that is open before noon. On the bright side, we are only paying $20 a night for a room with A/C and fridge, and there are two huge supermarkets, a very acceptable restaurant, and a cybercafe right outside the door.

Yesterday was a killer, but (not to keep you in suspense) it had very good results. Specifically, all I had to eat yesterday until 5 pm was a cup of instant coffee on the train and a Snickers bar. Also, we were interviewed in imposing offices by the director of social services downtown (I think in City Hall) and then by the orphanage director (which is about a half an hour drive from the hotel through a sequence of potholes) before we got to visit the kids.

The kids are great, very active and interactive; also, they are all together, so we are trying to connect with and keep busy three at a time instead of one at a time. So far we have had the social worker, a caregiver, and occasionally the orphanage director present for both visits, but tomorrow I think we are going to be much more to ourselves. However, the visits have both been close to 3 hours long, which is fantastic especially when compared with the last referral. Also, the children warmed up to us very quickly. They seem to be extremely close to each other. The older boy comes across as very smart and can already read a lot of English even though he only has one class a week; he is also more reserved although also quick to smile and make eye contact. The little girl is very engaging and full of smiles. The little boy is very comfortable snuggling close when looking at a book or pictures together.

The obstacles that we wrestled with last time have not been a problem here and the children seem to have at least some predisposition to engage with us, too, so we and the facilitator and the social worker are optimistic. It is still very hard to make the kind of deep connection we are working on and to build trust in such a short time, especially when there is such a language barrier and it is stressful at this early stage to know how much is at stake for us and them and yet not have a well-defined path to follow to success. The older boy is very interested in cars; he did not realize that Indy cars were named after Indianapolis, for instance, and he asked me (through the facilitator) if race cars really burned nitrogen; that was fun today, but it will be a while before we will be able to have that kind of conversation (much less conversations about personal issues) without a translator.

Yesterday we met in the orphanage playground on two little benches. We played with a number of toys we had brought, went through a photo album of our home and extended family, and took some pictures ourselves. Today we were in one of the rooms because it was sprinkling at first. That cleared right up and the boys and facilitator and I went out to play with a soccer ball for a good hour. They have good goals and a battered basketball rim at the orphanage, so we had a good time. Julie is having to scramble to collect ideas for group games (indoor and outdoor) from her camp counselor days, since we are working with long visits and short attention spans, and we want to maximize personal interaction that has very simple language requirements.

Both days we have gotten back to the hotel physically and emotionally exhausted (last night I slept 10:30 hours and would have liked more) but we are very happy with how things are going and the children really keep all our attention while we are with them and make the time go fast. It looks like our visit tomorrow is also going to be from 1 to 4 p.m.